Photo by NCRThere we were, waking up inside our tent at Joshua Tree National Park, and all we could hear is crrrrrruuunch. A few seconds passed and then we heard it again, only this time it lasted longer: crrrrrrrrrruuuuunch.
Me, only a second-time tent camper, had no clue what this sound was, but my wild imagination was confident it was a grizzly bear eating a caribou (because of course there are grizzlies and caribou in the middle of the desert).
My better half, a veteran camper, knew exactly what that crunching sound was.
"A rock squirrel is getting into our trash, love," Matt said.
Our trash bin for the overnight adventure was a brown, paper Whole Foods bag with two rocks in the bottom to secure it from the wind.
But neither of us understood what this squirrel wanted inside the trash. Matt, knowing squirrels are scavengers, instructed me to not put any food in it. The only things inside were a few balled-up papers we didn't burn in the campfire the night before. Or so we thought.
We slowly unzipped the tent to get a peak at this furry thief in action. As soon as we saw him, we both busted up laughing. His front paws, which looked like tiny hands with even tinier fingers, were clenching the top of the Whole Foods bag. His body was dangling off the side and the expression on his face, I swear, looked as if he was having a moral dilemma: "Do I jump in the bag or do I not jump in the bag? Will I get stuck? Will I get caught? Ahhhhhh, I don't know what to do!"
He obviously decided against taking the plunge because as soon as he realized we were watching him, he flung himself off the bag and into the fireless firepit nearby.
We were just as confused by what he could possibly want in there. It was filled with a heap of ash and a few scraps of wood that didn't burn completely. Or so we thought.
A few seconds later, Mr. Squirrel popped up his itsy-bitsy head from the soot, and in his mouth was a charred apple core twice the size of his noggin. He quickly scurried off and underneath a small tree about 15 feet from our tent. And then we heard: crrrrrrrrrruuuuunch! Although this time it wasn't the crunching sound made by his paws clenching the brown paper bag, it was no less funny.
There was something human-like about this squirrel, as he sunk his miniscule teeth into that burnt apple core: the way he held it in his minikin hands. And then there was that crunch. That crunch sounded as though someone was biting into the freshest of apples, just picked from a tree in Washington state in mid-September. Living in a desert, maybe to him it tasted as such. I couldn't help but feel sorry for him.
Crunchy McSquirrel took a few more bites, then he tossed the apple core aside and beelined it back toward the Whole Foods bag. This time he hopped up on the picnic bench adjacent to the bag and stretched his foot-long body at a diagonal to try and get an aerial view of the bag's contents. It wasn't quite close enough. He clearly knew he had to devise another plan.
Clearly, he was worried about getting stuck inside the bag, which is why he didn't just hop in.
His Plan B: Jump up, grab the side of the bag and pull it down. Next, he'd use the weight of his body to keep the bag's side pressed to the ground, ensuring he'd have a way out after snatching up what he wanted.
What exactly did he want? A small piece of parchment paper that, 10 hours earlier, was wrapped around a blueberry-coconut-almond scone. There were still a few almond and coconut crumbs and 1/25th of an organic blueberry attached.
He took his parchment-paper prize, safely removed himself from the Whole Foods bag, trotted across the campsite, parked himself underneath a tree and nibbled away. Mission accomplished.
Although I don't condone knowingly feeding wildlife baked goods, I don't feel that guilty about Rocky the Squirrel getting a few bits and pieces of one of our blueberry-coconut-almond scones. Made without refined sugar, gluten or preservatives, if he was destined to eat a scone, this was the scone to eat.
Blueberry-Coconut-Almond Scones
(Yields approximately 18 scones)
2 cups almond flour
2 cups unsweetened, shredded coconut
1/2 cup sliced almonds
1/3 cup unsalted, melted butter
1/2 cup honey
2 egg whites, beaten
1 egg, beaten
1/2 cup unsweetened almond milk
1 teaspoon Madagascar Bourbon vanilla extract (I like Nielsen-Massey)
1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1 cup frozen organic blueberries
Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Line two heavy-gauge, aluminum-coated steel, half-sheet pans (example here) with parchment paper. (It's important to use cookie sheets that distribute heat evenly so the bottoms don't burn.)
In a medium-size bowl, mix together the almond flour, coconut, sliced almonds, melted butter and honey.
In a large bowl, whisk together the egg whites, egg, almond milk, vanilla, cinnamon and salt until the cinnamon is evenly distributed throughout the mixture.
Working in batches, add the almond flour mixture to the egg mixture, and use a large spoon -- or your hands -- to combine. Fold in the blueberries.
Using a cookie scoop or a tablespoon, scoop out approximately 3 tablespoons of batter. Form the batter into the shape of a scone, and place it on the parchment-lined, half-sheet pan. Repeat until all the batter has been used.
Bake for 15 minutes, or until the tops are golden brown. I use a gas oven, but if you're using an electric oven, these could take up to 18 minutes to be sufficiently browned.
Remove the scones from the oven and let them cool for 5 minutes before transferring them to a wire cooling rack. Cool completely. They'll store in an airtight container for up to three days unrefrigerated. If you're going to store them longer, put the airtight container inside the fridge for up to a week.
If you prefer your scones warm, place them in the microwave for about 15 seconds before serving.
Related post on The Concentric Circle:
